I read this verse in a daily Bible reading I receive in my email, and I thought about the past weeks. I feel like I've just been spinning my wheels, working and working, but not accomplishing anything. The end of the semester at school was stressful--my projects perhaps not turning out the way I'd envisioned, not quite as polished as I'd hoped. Kevin fractured his ankle on December 4 and had surgery to repair it on December 18. So, we didn't celebrate Christmas in the usual ways. Between caring for Kevin and churning out the massive amount of worship bulletins, announcements, and other materials at work, I was almost too tired to bother. I did take a week of vacation at the end of the year. It was nice to get to sleep late and have no agenda. All in all though, these days it seems I'm only "chasing after wind."
As I look back over the weeks, though, there have been quite a few blessings. If I'm quite honest, it hasn't all been a complete wash.
- Though my projects didn't go as planned, I still made A's in all my classes.
- The VA has covered all the costs of Kevin's medical care.
- We have incredible friends who provided meals following Kevin's surgery. Some even straightened the house and did a little Christmas decorating for us. Others have helped with transportation, getting the trash out for pick up, and checking the mail.
- Warmer days this December have meant that the heat has run very little. That will be nice when the power bill comes.
- Our Christmas celebrations were different, but still meaningful. We were able to host family and friends for a meal on Christmas Day, and we also gathered with family on New Year's Day for a meal and to exchange gifts.
- I had materials "in stock" to make my nephews cork boards for their rooms. I only had to buy spray paint and glue sticks. And, my dad helped with some lauan backing for them.
- I actually was able to work it out to take a week of vacation at a time I wouldn't normally take one. And, during that time off, I had time to relax, to do some things I just hadn't been able to do, and to spend some time with Kevin that wasn't rushed or scheduled.
As we begin the year, and get closer to the two-year mark since Kevin retired (still waiting on the Social Security Administration), I try to refocus my energy. A new semester of classes begins next week. Kevin's ankle is healing well. And, there are still celebrations to be had (two birthday trips are coming up for nephews!). Nothing may happen as I hope or intend, but there is so much to be thankful for, I cannot allow myself to be discouraged. At least, as I am "chasing after wind," I can feel the air blowing across my face.